This guy was telling my husband it cost him $26000.00 to marry off his son.
So we sat down and made a cheshbon, and here's what we came up with. If you do it very cheaply, (but not embarrassingly so-but i guess that depends who you hang with and who your mechutan is) it can be done for just under $20,000.
expenses (in order of appearance)
bracelet 1000.00
vort flowers 250.00
ring 2000.00
watch 1200.00
shadchan 1000.00
invitations 400.00
ofruf 2000.00
clothing for chassan 1000.00
clothing for family 1300.00 (assuming 4 sisters and 3 brothers, utilizing gown gemachs)
photographer 3000.00
one man band 1000.00
flowers (fake) 800.00
car rental for friends 250.00
hotel 150.00
1st months rent 1000.00
misc expenses 1000.00
(the friend spent 4000.00 on a catered ofruf and 3000.00 on a car for the couple and also probably 1000.00 on a shaitel for the kallah. )
the kallah, which I always thought was way more expensive is not really that much more. here's what we came up with:
vort 1200.00
watch 1000.00
shas 700.00
clothes for vort 300.00
cufflinks 500.00
becher 200.00
beds 1000.00
dinette 400.00
couch 600.00
seforim shelves 1000.00
kitchen stuff 500.00 assuming she gets some gifts
appliances 300.00 assuming also
linens 450.00
clothes for sheva brachos 1000.00
shaitels 1500.00
wedding 1 0,000.00
clothing for family 1800.00 assuming usage of gemach, 7 siblings
gown 1000.00
shabbos sheva brachos 3600.00
total $ 26850.00
so either way, it's gonna hurt a little.
I have mostly sons, but I am told if you have a daughter you pretty much have to promise some sort of support, a cheapskate- or poor shlepper - like $700.00 a month and upwards from there.
I really dont know what I am gonna do...
3 Comments:
The expense account leaves out the expense the boys side has with going out.
Of course there are many variables which you don't account for (e.g. a small vort SHOULD be made in the kallahs house, not all chasunas can be made for only $10,000-how much is Lake Terrace? etc.)
As far as support goes, yes it is a problem,but too many people I know have all (1)their son-in-laws in long term Kollel(2)no known income source to finance it, for me to believe that there is no solution.Right when my children are born I put $5,000 away for them in investments and hope for the best...My husband writes on all checks he gives to Tiferas Devorah L'Kallah and other such orginizations, PLEASE ENCOURAGE KALLOHS TO KEEP THE CHASUNA TAKONOS!!!Of course if you aren't giving keep your opinions to yourself, but I do feel TDLK etc. would make life easier for ALL of us if they would make donations from them contingent on keeping the Takonos.That thought is not to be taken as an excuse not to give ch'v.
Whew! I guess I was big time gyped.I'm only married 11 years and I got no cufflinks,seforim shrank, only a $300 watch etc.But I also went out by train after the first few times.(My wife worked in Manahattan-I met her after work and we took the F train home.So you get what you sow and we have no regrets)
Im happy I saw your comments on mm's blog today. Thought you disapeared like a lot of the other lakewood blogs. Nice to see you are still here.
My Chasana was around 10K total, because thats all my family had. You can only spend what you physically have. From personal experience, I can say dont go into debt. Its a never ending nitemare. If you dont have it, just deal...
Especially since the economy just seems to be getting worse..
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