I have guilt. When I walk past the many shnorrers in town outside the co-op, bakery, or Bagel Nosh, and I dont give them anything, usually cuz I dont have any money on me. Sometimes I walk past this w0man outside the coop and dont give her anything. I feel guilty, cuz here I am with my cart loaded with food, and headed toward my pretty nice minivan. But I just paid for my groceries with a head check, and the nice car means car payments up the wazoo. I still feel guilty. And the next thing I know, I feel resentment towards this poor woman, and other shnorrers. Because they make me feel guilty, for not giving more.

There is an organization, Yad Lakallah l'devorah or something. They have a showroom with all this stuff displayed and the Kallah can pick out whatever she needs, from soup to nuts. I have never seen it, but I know someone who has. She told me all this stuff is the top of the line -- appliances and stuff. So I wonder, if someone is a kallah and she is poor, of course we should help her out. But do we need to give her top of the line of everything? the best food processer, mixer, vacuum cleaner, etc.? When I got married, my dad could not afford the best of everything for me, so I got middle of the road stuff. BH I was not a tzedaka case, and I am thankful for that. But what is wrong with giving these Kallahs middle of the road stuff. Not a Braun food processor, but a Black and Decker, etc.? I am not suggesting used stuff from the trash. But why the best? Using tzedakah money? Is that even right? For one thing, you could spend tzedaka money much more wisely, helping more kallahs. And again, if the wealthy kallahs get THE BEST of everything, cuz daddy could afford it, great! Most of us probably fall in the next category - dad is not wealthy, so we make do with average or cheaper stuff. The poor kallahs are getting the same stuff as the wealthy kallahs. Why cant they get the same as the middle class? SO the question is - am I being disgusting by even thinking this way? Should I feel guilty for it?

A wealthy guy I know gets a ton of shnorrers coming to his door. One woman came for hachnosas kallah, and said they are collecting for a custom shaitel for a poor kallah. Very nice, the guy says. How much does it cost? Well, its a RALPH so it costs $3000. (or whatever) HELLOOO?
why cant she get a $1000 shaitel like the average person? I am not suggesting a box shaitel, she should certainly get what an average kallah gets, but a RALPH? Get real! How chould they use tzedaka money for that?