Rethinking Vorts...

Because there have recently been a bunch of engagements in my life I have been thinking about how dumb vorts are. They are a total waste of money and time.

If you are a friend:
You have to get dressed and go to the hall. You say Mazel Tov to the chassan Kallah and parents. This is the entire point of the thing, and it would be so much easier to call them and tell them mazel tov over the phone.
At that point do you turn around and leave? No. You have to walk around and look at the decor and the $250.00 flower arrangement. You cant stand around by yourself, shmoozing with your plate of caramel cake, so you look around for someone to talk to, but in my experience not so easy to do - I dont usually know the other friends and the family members are usually too wrapped up in each other. You find someone you sort of know, so you make conversation. "who made this shidduch? How do you know the kallah?"
After a civilized amount of time you get to leave, and if you are in NY or something, you have to travel two hours and get home really late.
If you are local, it feels really strange to go home after all the effort of getting dressed and makeup and pantyhose and shaitel. I always feel like I should go somewhere so my outfit is not "wasted".
But there is nowhere else to go, so I go home and shed my finery.

If you are family:
Then its a real waste of time cuz you have to stay a long while, milling around and not really doing anything.

If you are the kallah's family:
Waste of money!! Think of the hall rental, party planner, food and or the effort involved if you do not pay a party planner and bake, set up yourselves. All so people should be inconvenienced and HAVE to come.
The amount spent could surely pay the couple's first month's rent.

I think a lechaim in the house for the family and friends to drop in and say mazel tov is sufficient.