I was talking to a 19 year old girl,(lets call her Leah) who is (sadly) finding out some of the unfairness and hypocrisy that goes on in UO society. To be specific:
Girl #1, lets call her Sara, grew up in a frum family where the father is still learning, the mother works once or twice a week, but one of the grandparents apparently has alot of money, so they have a very comfortable lifestyle. Sara's father hand picks the best chassan he can find for Sara - alla maalos, and mazel tov - theyre engaged! Big wedding, expensive gown, and everything...
They will be moving to Israel for five years, which of course means full support. They have an apartment in Israel that will be costing them a mere $1200.00 a month blah blah blah. Sara gets the learning boy, and the kollel life without having to sacrifice a thing.
Now we have Leah, who comes from a modest family, who may have to even pay for part of her own wedding expenses. She would like to marry a learning boy, too, and she is very willing to live with mesiras nefesh , work, and sacrifice some comfort for that goal, but sadly, she is not likely to get the learning boy at all, because her dad is not in a position to support her like Sara's dad (grandad) is. The eligible bachelors will likely find more "Saras" before they even consider Leah. She feels the unfairness of it - she , who is happy to live with mesiras nefesh is not going to get the learning boy , while Sara is.