I read in the Yeshiva world blog about the bad stuff happening up in the country, with frum kids drinking, drugging, hanging out and worse. I find it extremely disturbing, of course there have always been some kids misbehaving, but not on this scale, and not with quite as bad deeds. How horrible that kids are messing up their lives like that. Anyway, I dont want to discuss how sad it is, but I was looking through the comments (there were about 135) and it seems as though there are several differing opinions on this, and it breaks down to the following:
a- mothers not at home with the kids, kids out at babysitters, etc. from a very young age. (always blame the mothers)
b- parents not showing kids LOVE
c- yeshivas and bais yaakovs teaching what you're not allowed to do, and not stressing the beauty and warmth of yiddishkeit-and not answering kid's questions
d- lack of supervision on the part of the parents.
e- too much pressure on the kids to be perfect.
is that it? what do you think?
11 Comments:
This topic is dear to my heart so many theories, most unconclusive and placing the blame elsewhere.
I would like however to note the opposite.The only families I've noticed who as a group rarely have kids at risk are families that (1)are very stable and (2)are very principled.
i think its primarily B and C
Why do therapists and special ed /early intervention teachers get a free pass in this area?
For years I was reading about the great importance and merits of therapy/ special ed/early intervention.The schools and parents all seem to suscribe to that theory ,yet the kids at risk problem only gets worse.However rarely do I see or hear anyone suggest perhaps that therapists etc.aren't doing a good enough job.(It's only considered okay to say that about rebbeim.)
I also question the premise that kids go off due to unanswered haskafah problems or not being able to ask them.Perhaps girl schools are diffirent but noone ever screamed at me for asking a haskafa question.(athough at times rebbeim simply said that they don't know)Moreover the kids at risk I know aren't intellectuals.
If a college age individual complains about difficulty finding answers I would hear it more then a partying teenager.
A last thought:Do the kids the risk themselves deserve any blame?
zadok, you hit on a point that i was thinking about . These kids are not 2 year olds. shouldnt they shoulder some blame. they KNOW that parents and adults are afraid of them so they take advantage - misbehave and then point the finger and say cuz you dont LOVE me. (you wont buy me an ipod? I throw away my yarmulka!)they are holding their parents hostage, cuz they know their biggest fear is their kids going off.
I remember times that i was angry and my parents (at 15, 16, 17 years old) and thought - I'll stop being frum - that will show them! but then of course my logical side won over and i told myself that as much as my parents will be upset, I would still be doing wrong, and suffer the consequences after 120.
Mega,
How did the grout go? I need some closure here.
yated- SO glad you asked. that was a great idea you had. I taped plastic over the stove, so it was easy to clean up. the tiles came out gorgeous!! I kvell every time I see them. and I keep thinking HMMM what else can I tile? lol
Mega,
Ihave plenty of places for you to tile if you are intereted.
I think it is 99% "C"
It is extremely sad that they don't teach the beauty of our great religion and culture, and are busy with "Don't this and don't that..." all day1
I would like to propose a couple of new theories.
1- Children today are brought up without any sense of responsibility. What do we expect when we unleash a 15-16 year old with the responsibility of a 4 year old into the world.
2- This is my own theory and anyone can feel free to disagree. In the last 3-4 years teens at risk has been such a hot topic in all the Jewish papers and magazines. I believe that all the publicity that's meant to cause an awareness for parents is causing more of an awareness among teens and giving them somewhere to belong so to speak. They also read about everybody their age dropping out, hanging out and whatnot and I know that would give me second thought about busting my hump trying to do what's right.
Karam Dude-I agree with you that the enless articles about kids at risk add to the problem.It gives them a certain justification and exonarates them by saying that socoity and thier schools are at fault for their being at risk not they themselves.
Yes, I agree with the last commenters. It isn't thattoday's kids are learning disabled, it's the teachers and Rabbeim that are teaching disabled. THEY are what causes these kids to become 'at risk' ( i hate that term)
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