The Demise of a Shidduch

Well, despite looking perfect on paper, and both parties having had a great time on the first date, both have declined a second date.

?????

It seems to me the reason was that the guy didnt think she was pretty. ("information" says she is, so she cant be a dog.)

Isnt that a little superficial? I mean, sometimes after a time or two, a person's looks grows on you. Isnt it worth at least a second date? Especially since EVERYTHING else lines up?

Ah, well, there goes my first attempt at shadchanus. I dont think I will try this again so soon.

past posts are still open for discussion!

keeping the money in the family

I think its a great thing to support frum stores and businesses. Its a smart thing all around, the money spent on shoes goes to pay the shoe store owner's tuition, which pays the rebbeim... etc. and why wait till someone needs tzedaka to help him out? Buy his products and prevent that!

Having said that, I would like to share two experiences I've had.

~ I went to a local non Jewish owned store where every shoe is 21.99. (cant beat that price). Didnt find what I was looking for, so I stepped into a frum shoe store. To my very great surprise, I saw the same exact shoe (same designer etc.) that I had seen in the other store for 21.99 being sold in this store for 80.00. I am not kidding. SO if it was a difference of a few dollars, I might say, Okay let me support a fellow Jew. BUT since it was four times the price, I start thinking, this guy is taking advantage of his fellow Jews! I mean, even if he sold it for double the price-- $40.00 is still reasonable for a shoe. and maybe the other store gets good deals. Whatever. But from $20 to $80 is such a vast difference, that tells me he is totally taking advantage, and that is just not fair. If you are gonna charge $80 for a shoe, at least make sure it is superior quality, not something really worth 21.99.

~And then there was the time I stepped into the shoe store which was advertising a BIG sale in the back room. So I went in to check it out. AS soon as I walked in the door there was a HUGE sign in my face, maybe 2' by 3', proclaiming that anyone who took a shoe off the rack and did not put it back was over on geneiva!!
Whew!
I put my hands in my pockets, and went on it.
Wouldnt you know it, every two feet that sign was repeated (in small) and on every shelf on every rack!!
I felt guilty just looking, never mind touching or trying on!
It was SOOO not conducive to shopping, so I left, checking my pockets again to make sure I wasnt a ganev.

I complained to a friend, who happened to know the owner. so he called him up and told him what i said. The owner told him how people try things on and make messes, etc. and it causes him a problem- he has to pay someone to straighten up, blah blah blah.
Okay, it must be frustrating for him, but really that is part of owning a shoe store. You cant go putting your customers on a guilt trip. A nice polite sign would be appropriate, not an accusal!

You know how it is really interesting to speculate on other people's money, but it's really rude to talk about money. You wouldnt really go over to someone who just bought a house or a car and ask them how much they paid. you would wonder though, wouldnt you? I know I do.
so since everyone here is a stranger, i just thought to take a little poll and ask about things we would never really discuss. Please chime in- it should be interesting!

what was the most expensive thing you ever bought?
how much did you pay for -you house, your car?
what is the most $$ you would spend on you own without first consulting with your spouse?
what do you regret spending money on?

Hey guess what?

I am working on a shidduch.
I have never done this before, but I actually set up a couple. It was a guy (relative) and a girl who I dont know, but I tried to set up someone I do know, and it was not for her, but she knew a girl...
All the details line up; it sounds perfect on paper.
so I got the okay from the guy, and then two days I got the okay from the girl. He is supposed to call her for a date!
I wonder what will happen. Oh by the way, does anyone know- should I call the mom and ask when the date is going to happen or should i sit back and relax?

I hope it works.
I hope if it doesnt work, it's not a complete bust so they dont get mad at me.

I never read the Yated, for various reasons, but once in awhile I like reading the letters to the editor. It's a good form of entertainment.
I read a letter this week written by a high school girl. Apparently, her older sister is in seminary this year. Since her parents are in chinuch, the seminary gave them a discount on tuition.
The issue is that the parents want the girl to come home for pesach and the seminary doesn't let. The reason being, that if they need the discounted tuition, they should not be spending money to bring her home. and if they could afford to bring her home, they did not need a discount.

So this girl is outraged, because who is the seminary to tell them how to spend their money? this girl is coming home to help her mother clean and cook for Pesach, and to be with family which is soooo important; the seminary should be aware of that!!

I would like to know where most people stand on this issue.

To me it is clear as day, that the seminary is correct. Bringing a girl home for Pesach is a luxury on top of a luxury (seminary is Israel being the first luxury).

A round trip ticket is expensive, and it is not fair to ask for discounts if they can afford this extra, unnecessary, expenditure.

As far as helping, and the importance of being with family - if this family feels that way, they should not have sent the girl away for a year. She will be home in a few months. And the reason she was sent away in the first place was for the experience of being away!

So please chime in, I would like to hear your opinions.